Why adults have affairs?
Chat about a loaded issue that no one wants to speak about, this is it. Funny thing, extramarital affairs have been going on since old ages. Affairs can be filled with troubles, cause sorrow, and other troubles. Also you must wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty thing, finances, age difference, spiritual upbringing, guilt, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this article I will identify an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other persons, discteet married dating.
Why do people have affairs? There are as many reasons as there are man seeking woman for affair. I am conserned mostly though it is only the human nature, the need for care, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and loved. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
Physically we as humans are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and exciting, and sex makes us escape the real world for a small period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Some people can switch the craving on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another individual, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos the world has erected against extramarital affairs. For many individuals the yearnings will beat their doubts and make them risk the wrath of not only their family, but society also. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is terribly good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not hurt your spouse or anyone else? You would need to reduce the danger you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the major grouping, gigantic actually. There are many couples whose marriage is over, apart from they are happy in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to consider. Your finances are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live as a family besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them implementing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An affair sometimes solves the problem while keeping the marriage intact.
Ignoring, sadly this is a frequent reason I fear. One or the other, frequently the guy is sexually neglecting his spouse for a number of reasons. As a man I truly am thankful to you guys neglecting your wives and making them obtainable to us guys of romance, making them “lonely wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, could be compassion is not here, maybe it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Could be we have simply grown apart, our relulas interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is opposed to of what you want. Maybe I simply do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The ultimate reason people give is, they look for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to escape, for financial gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.